Should Kids Do Household Chores?
February 27, 2008
I recently received a very negative comment from another parent about my kids doing chores. It’s not the first time… I’ve been very surprised by the response that I’ve gotten from friends and family regarding the chores and little “jobs” that my children are required to do around the house… In fact, most of the adults I know think that I expect way too much out of my kids. On the other hand, I also get frequent complements about my kids’ behavior… something that I directly attribute to the level of responsibility that they have at home. After all, it’s their house too!
So, without going into too much detail about our chore schedule, I wanted to know what you think… should kids do household chores?
Obviously I think so, and that’s why I’ve put together a list of chores you can try with your kids to start teaching them responsibility.
5 Chores for Toddlers
When toddlers see Mom and Dad working around the house, they are often eager to help. They love to try to do the same things their parents are doing. Although it may take longer to get the chores done, and it might just be easier to do it yourself, it can help young children learn the meaning of responsibility and develop good habits for a lifetime.
The most important thing to remember when selecting chores for toddlers is to keep it simple. Very young children do not have the cognitive or motor skills to take on complicated tasks. But there are some things they can do that, after some practice, will be helpful to you.
- Picking up toys - Getting your toddler to pick up their own toys can be a big help to you and it teaches them to take responsibility for their belongings.
- Feeding the pets - Younger children will love helping to take care of their pet, especially if you can show them that the pet is depending on their care.
- Watering plants - Children love to water stuff! I usually try to move all the plants that they’ll water into one spot or put them in the bathtub so that they don’t make a mess all over the house.
- Cleaning the floors - This may not seem like a good job for younger children, but they can really be a lot of help. They probably won’t be able to use your vacuum, but they can certainly use a small broom and dustpan.
- Helping with the laundry - Kids can be a lot of help with the laundry by helping to sort, loading the washer, or putting the clothes in the dryer. You can even put them to work folding wash cloths and matching socks to make it a learning experience.
5 Chores for School Aged Kids
Ideally kids will have already been doing some small chores for a while before you start expecting too much from them. Once they start school, there are a lot of chores they can handle. Here are some good chores for young school aged kids:
- Setting and clearing the table - My kids are often in the kitchen watching me cook anyway, so it seems like a natural thing to have them set the table. It has become one of our nightly rituals where we talk about our day, fix the meal, and eat together.
- Folding and putting away the laundry - My kids have been folding and putting away their own laundry since they were old enough to understand the concept. I still have to help them organize their drawers about once a month, but they are totally responsible for their own clothes… even my kindergartener!
- Dusting - My kids love to dust… especially when they get to use a Swiffer. I even put them to work dusting the baseboards!
- Trash - When it’s trash day (or the night before in our case) why not have your child go around the house and collect all the trash from the small trash cans? My son has been doing this since he was almost seven… he takes care of the little *cleaner* stuff and we take care of the big stuff, including the kitchen trash. He’s also responsible for putting a liner in the kitchen trash can during the rest of the week.
- Pet care - One of the big conditions under which my oldest daughter was allowed to get a new cat for her 10th birthday was that she had to take care of it. Although I supervise, she is completely responsible for his food, water, and cleaning his litter box.
So, what do you think? Am I too hard on my kids?
I dont think having chores for small kids is a bad thing. My daughter is 3 and has several small chores she has to do now. It teaches them responsibility. I want my kids to start at a young age. they will not always have someone do everything for them and will need to learn to be independant. I think chores for kids, even toddlers is a great learning experience for them.
I think kids having chores is a great idea. They need to learn to be responsible at a young age. It gives them a self worth that they can be a productive part of the family. I also agree that the chores should grow as the child does. If they don’t the child will become stagnent in their growth.
I too agree with having chores for the kids. My son who is now 7 has been picking up his bedroom for 3 years now. We started him off with 1.00 a week and since he turned 7 we increased it to $3.00. I know most parents wouldn’t pay them to do this but our son loves to collect 1:24 scale cars so us having him earn the money to pay for them is a way of showing him responsibility and how to save money. Our daughter who just turned 4 is starting the process of cleaning her room so she can save money to shop at the Dollar store..(she loves it there).
I think that you have set the bar at a reasonable level for chores. It teaches the kids that they need to be resposible for themselves and teaches them respect for their things. The chores you have listed seem simple enough and common sense. The only one I was not sure about was the Floor one-however if they are the ones to make the mess I do believe they should go and get a broom and clean it up themselves. But I would not have my child do the floors as a ritual chore or anything unless that is something the child truly likes to do. And kids love to feel included and important when it comes to household activities-if everyone has there own chores to do then satisfaction is given at the end of it.
I agree with you it is good for kids to have chores. I am an adult now but as a kid I had alot of chores to do around the house. Both of my parents worked and there was my older brother and a younger sister at home. I had to go home everyday after school and babysit my sister as well my brother and I kept the house going from the time I was 13 my brother and I kept the house clean had to vacumn and dust and clean the bathrooms 3 times a week and about 4 nights out of 5 we had supper ready when my parents got home from work, plus having to do the dishes everynight and feed the pets we were always told if the animals don’t eat then neither do we……lol. I think it taught me alot of responsibility and gave me maturity beyound what some of my friends had. When i was ready to move away from home I was ready and new what to expect when it came to running a house. I was way more prepared than alot of other people my age to move out on my own. Plus I was taught to cook when i was 8 yrs old at the time my mom had a cafe and i would help her with simple things like making soup and sandwiches when I was home from school.
I think all kids should have some sort of chores to do at home to earn alittle allowance and spending money, it gives them a sense of accomplishment to know that they can do things for themselves.
I think ALL children should have chores. It teaches them responsibility and appreciation for things. My 3 year old has several chores and she is so proud of herself once she completes them. She loves to be a part of how the household runs.
I think you are doing a great thing by teaching your children responsibility at a young age. Don’t let others judge your skills as a parent. You know what’s best for your family.
Absolutely, children should have chores, starting with toddlers. this gives them a feeling of belonging, being part of the family, earning respect of their parents, helps them to be responsible and dependable. Doing chores lets the children know they cannot expect other people to always do things for them, they have to take responsibility for themselves. Most children want to help their parents or family members do things around the house and giving them small chores to do will help them in so many ways.
I really believe children should have responsibilities as soon as they can walk & before.
We as parents should be preparing them to be responsible. It is so unwise to be a parent who does everything for our children. We want them to grow into responsible adults. If we expect this to happen when they become adults. Well think again, they have to start at a very early age. Then they will grow to be responsible children, then teens, to adults. We can’t expect them to be a responsible adult if they haven’t gone through the stages. They will become a irresponsible child, teen and adult if left to never be given chores from a very young age. I started my children in the crib they had straighten the blankets and make their crib tidy as a baby can do. I never expected perfection, but just given responsibilities, and you no they really love to do it. especially if they start young it just becomes part of them and believe me they are so proud of themselves. We as parents are not critisizing the job they do we just encourage. This is what a child needs at any age. They aren’t any different then we are. We appreciate encouragement and liked to be told a job is done well and told thank you. Trusting parents will be responsible parents and give their children the love we as parents are responsible to do. Part of our responsibilities is teaching our children to be responsible and what better way then giving them chores or responsibilities. I really love my six children, and I know they love me as well. This didn’t just happen it grew through the years. We just expect them to do their chores, and they do them. It was started at a very young age. We work together as a family to help each other and share our responsibilities with love.
I agree with Chris Yates & Beth. My son now 7 has been keeping his toys since 3. He enjoys folding the cloths and mopping the floor and is now keen in helping me to cook.
I also think that having a child doing chores is great. Being organized is also good for them when they get to school. It is necessary for life. The sooner you start the easier it will become later. Never too early.
As a mother of 4 kids ages 4 and under, I beleive kids should absolutely have chores! Of course in my case it may be more of a necessity but I do agree that it helps teach responsibility. I also want them to learn about consequences (you take a toy down, you need to put it away when done), the responsibilities in maintaining a household (both girls and boys), as well as develop a team spirit about working together and keeping a clean home. Chores depend on age and level of course but even my 2 year old helps puts her toys away, and will often help hand me dishes from the dishwasher, bring me things from other rooms when asked, and put things in the kitchen to be cleaned.
Those seem like very far chores I have my 5 and 2 year old that make their beds. Usally the big one helps the little one and its not the best looking but they know thats there job to do. And my 5 yr old thoses away diapers. That’s just some chores that weren’t on your list. But I feel if you start while they are young then it’s not so hard when they are older.
Coming from a toddler teacher i agree with you I belive all children should have chores it teaches them responisability. I can also tell you that children (toddlers) who have to pick up toys at home tend to help at clean up time at school kidsmthat dont are hard to get them to help. Im on your side. Chores are a must
I totally agree with you on the chore thing.I also have chores for my children.I believe that this is helpful in teaching them many different things in life.How else will they know how to do things for themselves when they grow up.I definitely don’t want my children to be slobs when they grow up.
I agree whole-heartedly! My six-year-old and four-year-old daughters help a lot around the house, from helping unload the dishwasher to folding laundry. They love learning new chores as they grow and can take on more responsibility. I definitely agree that being considered an important part of the family “team” has an impact on their behavior. My girls are now teaching their one-year-old sister to put her toys in the basket. It is amazing how she is learning! The nursery worker at church was shocked when our baby joined in as the older kids picked up toys on Sunday! I also agree that the key is to not expect too much and accept whatever they can do as great. There was a time when I would have cringed to see the way my towels and wash cloths are folded and stacked in the linen closet. But I have learned to take those stacks from my girls and put them on the shelf with a smile, and they are so proud of the job they have done.
What are some of the reasons that these people give who don’t believe in chores? Responsibility and team work is what these kids are learning by doing chores. The big thing is if you start them off young when they want to help and are proud of what they do to help, it just becomes natural for them to do.
I think to many kids today expect it all to be done for them and if you ask them to do something like take out the trash, they do not like it. Every chore that they do is teaching them for when they are out living on their own!
I think the word chore is not a very good word. For a lot of kids it implies work that is dull, boring and time consuming. Chore’s can be fun if it is done as team work and clearly the image is giving once it’s done it’s over with and they can on to something they like to do!
First as a parent and second as a Montessori teacher, I say of course children should have responsibilities around the house. Your age appropriate ones are very good suggestions. It is their house too, I would add that chores are not to be compensated with allowances either. They are part of living in a community and teach children social responsibilities. It gives children a sense of belonging which is very important for them to have as early as possible.
I think it is great; as a matter of fact this is exactly what my grandchildren do. I didn’t do this for my children. I waited until they were older always telling them they were to young at earlier ages.
Boy I wish I’d let them help. One daughter doesn’t mind cleaning once the house is dirty but the other is a spolied, lazy brat who hates housework and loves to get a house dirty.
She makes I didn’t have that or leaves home to keep from cleaning. When she sweeps most of the time she leaves the trash in the floor until I raise sand or refuse to babysit unless she gets it up. Her work ethics are quite opposite she made manager quickly on her job and I was told she is a very hard worker.
My grandchildren already help and it is much easier to keep the house clean. They love to help clean house. Wish I’d learned earlier would have saved a lot of heartache and headache. Given the two extremes I now say the earlier the better.
I agree that children should help with chores, as takes their focus off themselves and places it on Jesus and others. After all, doing chores is a way of serving others, as Jesus admonished us to do. If we, as parents, create the proper attitude as we do our chores; that is, that they are a gift that we can give to Jesus and others, then the children will learn to embrace this attitude as well. Chores only become ‘a chore’ when we are unwilling to do them.
I only wish I had let my daughters “help” me with the household chores while they were eager to do so.
Now that they are older it is like a chore for me to get them to do even small things.
Let me tell you about two young ladies I know. They are sisters. The first is the eldest of 4; the other, the youngest. When the elder was 25 yrs old..the younger called her from 5 states away at 2 A.M. in tears..”sissy, ” she said…”i did just what you said. please help me, I promised my husband I’d have coffee ready for him when he got home from work and he’ll be here any minute. I read the directions on the jar, just like you said, but i don’t understand….It says add 1 tsp of sanka granuales to one cup of boiling water. How do you boil water?”………….that’s a true story. I’m the elder sister…..and my younger sib…is the child who had no chores or responsibilities growing up. It all fell on my shoulders and the brother just under me because we were the oldest, and it was our job. How very sad for my baby sister. Her husband had to teach her to cook, and wash laundry, and some things she has never learned. We’re both in our late 40’s now, and while she can boil water, she still can’t manage the basics and we both attribute it to her lack of responsibility and OPPORTUNITY to learn while she was a child.
We only have 18 short years as children…………..that is when we are allowed to make mistakes and learn and grow. If we mess up while cleaning the dishes, ( i did and took a scouring pad to gma’s silver serving spoon)…it’s forgiven and no big deal. It wouldn’t have been so easily overlooked had I been an adult that should have known better.
Can we be unreasonable and expect too much of our children? Yes, a 6 yr old shouldn’t be cooking supper by themselves, and a 9 yr old shouldn’t be doing the family’s laundry. However; a 6 yr old is more than capable to help sort clothes, change a load from the washer to the dryer, help fold (esp thier own clothes and wash clothes), and to put thier clothes in thier drawers or closets. A 9 yr old should certainly be helping set and clear the supper dishes, and be ‘cooking’ with mom (or in some instances with dad) in the kitchen. I want my children to be able to contribute to society, to be healthy, capable and functional adults. I only have 18 yrs to teach them ALL the skills they need. How in the world are they going to be healthy and responsible adults if we don’t raise them up in a responsible manner? pj
My daughter is just 1 1/2 yr old she puts the waste in the waste basket on request. She puts back her color pencils in the pencil holder after use. She removes her shoes on her own.She does many such “little jobs”.But my in-laws think I am too harsh to make her do all this…:)))
The sooner they start the better, my daughter is 6, she gets pocket money for all her tasks. The simple things as making her bed, picking up toys and taking her plates and cups to the kitchen she had to do from a very early age. This year we added cleaning the bathroom by herself when she and her brother had their bath, dusting all the window sills, sorting the washing into the different colours and packing away the clean and ironed clothes. My 2 year old already has to pick up his own toys and put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, throw his nappies in the bin and take his own dishes to the kitchen when his finished.
I think that will make them responsible adults.
I fully agree that kids should help and take responsbilities according to their age this helps them a lot in develloping skills for their lifetime this is what hapened with me . I am a mother of 2 boys 4years difference of age between them,they are grown up now one is 31 and the other is27 , the elder is linving alone in saudi arabia and he has to do everything for himself he is not yet married. the other one is married and is helping his wife in everything at home they are both working. from my point of view when children grow up the manners and the habits they gain during their childhood accumulates and remain in their mind and later they behave acccordingly.
OK, first, it is no eleses business to go making critisism of the way you raise your children. It seems that, too much these days, people expect that they have some sort of natural right to every-one elses business. They don’t. It is as simple as that. Perhaps unless a very serious problem exists (let common sense prevail) such self-appointed critics really should, in no uncertain terms, be told to but-out and mind their own business.
Second, giving children reasonable chores teaches them both the practical domestic skills that they will need in later life as well as the responsibilities that come with the privilidge of being part of a family. It also teaches them to be considerate and helpfull to others who may be in need, all of which are among the essential social skills that every child needs to work on in order to take the greatest advantage of their future places in society and their future relationships.
Third, parents who take such a line will eventially learn, as they get older and less able to keep up the pace, and as the work load from caring for the children increases (as it does) that they will have created a rod for their own backs. They will be seeking help from their children, who will instead have become accostomed to being waited upon all of the time.
You have done the correct thing.
I think that it is great what your doing. We as parents are responsible to raise respectful and responsible children. It all starts at home. I’m a Pre-K teacher and believe me I wish some parents would wake up and smell the coffee. One of the favorite things my pre-k kids love to do is the job chart they can’t wait to see what there responsible for. Alot of them comment that they wish mommy/daddy would let them help them at home. My children had to do the same thing. I loved them and nurtured them and took care of all there necessities but they had to earn all the extras. Now that they are all grown up ( a 15 yr. old and 20 yr. old) I get compliments all the time on there manners and how respectful and helpful they are. You are truly helping your children. You just keep doing what your doing. The people giving you the negative feed back just don’t understand.
I strongly believe that children should learn early that they are part of a family and that a clean and beautiful home is everybody’s responsibility. I don’t expect kids to be perfect but I certainly insist that they do their share of chores at home. It teaches them to be responsible and considerate.
I don’t think your expectations are too high at all, and those that do will have children that expect to be waited on all through their lives. My son is 3 1/2 and since he could crawl has put his clothes into the dirth laundry basket. He loves to sort laundry into colours, he puts his clean clothes away, lays the table for dinner, helps to put his toys away andhis favourite of all is the dusting!
Maybe it’s because my husband works away at sea and my son has always had to help or do something by himself because I have to do the jobs when he is around - I would never get a sit down in the evening otherwise. Whatever, one day some girl is going to be very pleased with what my son can do around the house!
I absolutely agree kids should have chores, my eldest who is 16 thinks she is the queen around here and does not lift a finger to help and then she still expects everything she wants and doesn’t get it as to why she won’t get everything she wants. It’s my fault though because when she was little I preferred to do it ‘all’ myself instead of wait for it to get done when she was helping. I was a working mom, and there were never enough hours in may day. I am also a perfectionist of sorts and it was never done good enough. I have not done her any favours, I think she is now lazy, untidy and just doesn’t care because she knows whatever will be done by someone else. I was also a teenage mom and just did not have enough savvy as to what was wrong and right with regards to chores.
My 5 year old on the other hand, has helped me, she helped with the feeding of cat and dogs and picking up dog poop when we had them (back in South Africa, we’ve recently immigrated to New Zealand), she helps sweep the leaves up in the garden, which she thoroughly enjoys with her little broom, she helps collect all the rubbish from the rubbish bins on rubbish day, helps to dust, vacuum, clean floors, wash the plastic dishes, helps to hang up the washing by passing it to me from the basket and many other little things. Not only I am I a happier mommy she is a happy child because she is helping me. She helps big sister with her room often too!!
I think she has learnt better values, that no-one is going to pick up after her and the responsibilty is hers to do whatever needs to be done by her.
Praise the Lord for parents such as you.
This world is so full of the “Me First and Last” people. She’ll be right… someone else will pick up the tab.. someone else will do that. It’s called reponsibility.. it’s called learning RESPECT for the work load parents have to carry.. It’s preparing them for LIFE… not making bludgers out of them. Keep up the good work. They will thank you in the long run and they will be sooo disgusted when their friends can’t even boil water or do a load of washing or ironing. Good healthy respectful citizens are what they will become.
I think toddlers can be taught to pick up their toys but should not be given large chores until they are older at least kindergarten age. I believe having chores teaches children responsibility. If one does everything for them they will come to expect it and have little respect for what it takes to get things done especially at older ages. Chores should always be age appropriate.
I have two toddler boys aged 2 & 4 years. They have been taught to pick up after themselves and to take the dishes from the table to the kitchen. They each have a turn to feed the family dog. The boys relish the opportunity to help out around the house. As a kid my mom instilled the same responsibility in me and I turned out fine.
I completely agree with your ideas and I’ve actually implemented these in my child as well. He is required to do the same chores you mentioned, but to him it’s fun! He loves to help so he doesn’t even see it as a responsibility. I have a sister in law that has three children that are teenagers and they do nothing to help her out. They do no inside or outside work and they are some of the most spoiled children I’ve even met. So what’s better? I think having some responsibilities they take into their adult life is good because whose going to do it for them when they are on their own? I think you are absolutely right.
I am a preschool teacher and find that children’s behavior is much better when they are given responsibilities. They feel a sense of pride and a boost in self confidence.
Keep up the good work!
I have 5 children ranging in ages from infant to teen. My oldest four have chores every day. My 5 yo daughters chore is to make her bed and feed the dog. The other girls clean entire rooms every day of the week, with each child having a “free” day. Sometimes I help them with their chores, sometimes not. They complain and whine and try everything to get out of doing their chores (and sometime they do), but I know I’m teaching them responsibility. And now that they see how much work it is to clean up after a 7 member household, they are starting to clean up after themselves regularly too. And when they go to other peoples homes, I ALWAYS get comments about how helpful they are.
With having such a large family and working full time, the only way the house would be clean is if my kids help. They understand that Mom can’t do it all. And they are going to grow up knowing they contributed valuable time into our household and they will be able to do it once they are on their own.
This article came right on time for me! I was just speaking to a friend about having my children, ages 3 and 7, help out more around the home with cleaning and maintaining our homes appearance. Growing up, my mother treated us like slaves. My three siblings and I were required to keep the home clean from top to bottom and it made me feel like cheap child labor. As a parent, I didn’t want to rob my own childrens childhood by doing the same thing. Then one day, it dawned on me. I was actually doing them a disservice. I can offer many complaints about the way I was raised by I must also give credit where due and if nothing else, my mother raised very independent children.
Once we left home, we were all able to function in the real world quite successfully. We could all do laundry, manage bills, keep the home in decent order, etc. and I want to offer my children that same opportunity. One day, God forbid, Mommy may not be here anymore and I want them to be able to take care of themselves and be well functioning people in this world.
My daughter is 3 and she LOVES doing chores! She really takes pride in “helping mommy” around the house. Of course I don’t have her doing strenous jobs, but she likes to help load/unload the dishwasher, sort laundry, straighten her room and living room (pretty much just putting her toys back in the toybox). Even her daycare provider has told me that she volunteers to do these things while she is there.
I think it’s great that children have chores. Mine children are now 7 & 9. They’ve had chores to do since they could walk. We’ve slowly increased their chores with age. Starting this year they get allowances as well. We keep a chore chart that they must mark each day. If they don’t do the chore, I give them a slash for each chore not done. Once we reach 5 slashes, they lose one day of allowance. At first they thought I was joking, but when the end of the month came and their allowance was smaller than the last month, it all seemed to change. I truly believe it teaches them responsiblity. It’s great to hear that there are other parents out there like myself.
Girl…I’ve been working mine for years. As a parent of 4 children ages 4,6,16 and 18, my husband and I started with the older 2 when they were around 2 or 3 years of age having them help around the house. You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT that it teaches them responsibility, it teaches them to take pride in what is theirs and what isn’t theirs (for that matter). It teaches them the order of things…in our home, it’s God first, then family, then self. It IS their home too and they should be a part of helping to keep the home functioning properly. I’m a stay at home mom and I work ALL by myself (nor do I want to). They often hear me say I am NOT the maid and jump right in to do their part.
I feel peace in knowing that my oldest is in college and he can cook for himself, he can wash his own clothes and he keeps surroundings very clean. He knows how to manage his finances, his schedule, etc. All lessons that started the first time we asked him to empty the garbage. And the other children will be equally well equiped when they leave the nest.
I don’t think making children do chores is a bad thing, I thing not making them is a diservice to them, your family and society in general. Keep up the good work. No pun intended!
My kids do pretty much the same… My 7 year old ( will be 8 un April) puts dishes away, folds and puts away her own laundry, keeps her room up, picks up after herself, dog duty ( she agreed to do this BEFORE we got the dog), once a week she changes her own sheets and sweeps the basement steps, my 5 year old: folds and puts away her own laundry, does her room up keep, sweeps after meals, picks up tv room ( picking up after herself), once a week changes her sheets, my 3 year old: puts his laundry away ( I fold and supervise this), picks up his room, waters plants.
All 3 are expected to help when necessary. They all have a allowance and as far as your guidlines I think they are excellent. Children should help with the housework - after all we are raising adults if we as parents don’t teach them to cook, clean and manages finances are we going to do this for them all their lives? We are responsible to teach them to care for themselves one day our children will leave the nest and will need to be able to care for themselves and their family. If we do NOT teach these skills, along with others, we have FAILED as parents. I refuse to be a failure of a parent.
i totally think that it is ok for kids to have age appropiate chores to do. it teaches them early on that they are responsible for their actions. like if they make a mess with toys, they should be the ones to clean it. as long as they are age appropriate, i believe that it is a good life lesson. kids will appreciate it in the future. they may not like doing it but it does teach some responsibilities.
Yes, children NEED to start learning about reponsiblities in life and it should start in the home at an earlier age. As a Counsellor, I am amazed at some of the mentality of today’s youth with not taking responsibility for their own actions. The youth I see perform poorly in schools, can not maintain work, get in trouble with the law and believe it was not their fault. It was the teacher’s fault for being too harsh, it was the employer’s fault for being too demanding, it was the police fault for charging them and not just giving them a warning, etc. Children need to learn about responsibility and about how their own actions impacts them and others around them. Chores is an awesome way to start educating them on roles, responsibilities and consequences for lack of actions.
I totally agree with chores for children. Our sons are 3 & 5 and they pick up their toys every night. They also are responsible for cleaning their rooms and making sure their rooms are cleaned and beds are made. My 5 year old is responsible for taking out the garbage and both are responsible for taking their dirty dishes and putting them in the sink. They are both responsible for putting away their clean clothes (3 year old - only on bed). Also, I do NOT believe in allowance. I feel they are a family member and it’s their job to do their chores without feeling they need to be PAID for them. However, when the boys and I are out and I feel they’ve done a great job doing their chores, without much pressure from me, I may buy them crayons, coloring books, something like that just out of the blue. They do not relate it to their chores and they never expect it.
No chris I don’t think so, I’ve done the same thing with my kids and now my son is 20 and my daughter is 12. It has tought them a great deal about responsibility and respect for their household and being a team as a family.
We work together for more play time together. Keep up the good work with your children it will pay off a great deal as they grow up.
Absolutely kids should have chores! It’s a great self-esteem booster. They have a sense of belonging, responsibility, and self-worth. Too often kids don’t have “chores” and they will ALWAYS expect everything done for them! Ask the college student that doesn’t know how to do laundry if they ever had chores. To raise children into happy, well functioning adults-it starts with the simple little chores they were given as children.
I totally agree with you. I make my 4 yr old help out, but mostly because he wants to help. My mom did the same for us. I think it teaches a child a good sense of responsibility, rather than having everything handed to them.
I think all kids should have some chores. I have a 4 yr old. a 20 mo. old and a 6 mo. old. My 4 yr old loves to help me with chores. He will help me dust by putting on old sock on his hand like a puppet. We drew a face on it and it has become a game to him. I ALWAYS make them clean up their toys. My son and daughter both love to help me load the washer when I’m washing clothes. They actually beg me to do it. I don’t understand anyone not thinking kids should have some responsiblitity. We are doing them a terrible disservice. We expect them to go to school at 5 and study and make good grades so why is it too much to ask that they help out at home and do their best there as well?
My mother always insisted that all her kids should learn to make house chores. She always took the time to teach us and made the time of learning fun and I love the way we bond by doing that. Now that I am a mother I try to do the same thing with my kids and they also love it!!! Besides that, I try to make my children understand that by taking care of some chores they show love, appreciation and consideration towards the rest of the family. To make kids take care of some chores teaches them about responsibility and I want to rise responsible, caring and considerate children.
I have a 25yr old daughter that was brought up by terrible parents (according to her-at the time- and her friends) because she had chores to do and on top of that if she did not do them we punished her. When she was 9 yrs old, I had 3 surgerys in a period of 3 weeks and was not able to do most of the housework for about 3 mts. and guess who did it, OUR 9 YR OLD daughter who know how to because she had been doing or helping me do it for years. She even went with her Daddy to get groceries and used coupons. I now have a 25 yr old daughter that is married with 2 children, (which have chores) that owns her on house, a car and 2 trucks with a responsible job that has a future that her bosses tell her she will go places in the company because she is responsible and organized. She now says that we made her a better person because we did not “baby her” when she was growing up.
I think giving your children chores or small jobs to do around the house, or simply letting them help when you are doing chores is a great idea. I often share my chores with my three year old son. He is the one who usually asks if he can help me, but I will also ask for his help when I think it is something he would enjoy doing. I have seen many benefits for my son: having him help me vaccuum helped him get over his initial fear of the loud noise the vaccuum makes; helping with laundry has been educational as it allows us to discuss sorting and matching, colors and counting; helping put groceries away and helping with cooking has made him more interested in different foods. In our home sharing chores has created nice bonding and learning experiences. My son loves to tell people that he is a god helper. Even at the age of three he is taking pride in himself and our home.
I disagree with having children do chores at any age. Although they do live in the house they do not pay the bills therefore it is not really their house just some place they live until they buy a house of their own. A parent when they buy a place to live know what goes into the up keeping as well as when they have children they know what goes into that as well and they should be expected to do what comes with those responsibilities. I would only have a child do chores if he/she asks to (and I know most children wouldn’t). As a child my mother made me do simple chores like feeding the pets and making my bed and help set the table for dinner and such and I just dreaded it and I would rather get punished than do chores (which happened rather frequentlty). I am now 19 and see it as a big deal to help my mother around the house. She has a full time job and I know she can’t do everything on her own, but I think some children will resent their parents if they make them do chores (unless they want to). If they see their parents doing things around the house they will just eventually pick up on how to do the things even if they don’t do them themselves and they will be perfectly fine when on their own. (I know I will be).
I applaud you! My children did chores/jobs when they were growing up. Now that they are adults, they know how to help around the house. Actually my one son who always complained is now the responsible adult and now wants things neat and clean! Who would have thought.
I have two boys and several grandchildren and they were taught to clean house, cook and be able to take care of their self. Alot of wives do not know how to cook or clean houses.
My Son are very gook cooks and can keep a very clean house. You can never start to early teaching. Good for you for teaching your children to take care of there self.
Joyce Moser
My own MOTHER is my largest critic of my being “too hard” on my kids. I do notice when she is with my brother’s kids though that they drive her nuts and they run like nuts and have never done a chore or been told “no”. My children can be taken in public without embarassment, which is my main goal! I too recieve nice comments on my kiddo’s which makes them proud. Keep doing the right thing.
I think that it is a wonderful idea for toddlers as well as older children to do chores. I have a 4 year and she has had chores since she was 2. She started out with picking up her toys at the age of 2 and now she puts away her own laundry, toys, helps with the groceries, sorting the laundry and sometimes helps to prepare meals among other things. She thinks that all of this is fun plus she gets a sense of acomplishment once she has completed a chore. My daughter loves to help around the house with me and my husband she will say let me help I’m a big girl.
I feel that giving children chores helps to build character, respect and can be very educational at times. You are doing a great job!! I always take what others say to me about my parenting style with a grain of salt.
Keep up the good work!!.
I think that children should participate in all shores, cooking, cleaning up after the cooking, pick up their toys and keep their room tidy. Alon help in all the others shores that are needed to be happy and organize. They can make their bed, clean up the bathroom after they have taken their bath. When they get older use the lawnmower and so forth. It is not only to help us that they must learn but for them self estime and we must encourage them and thank them when it is done. I have a retarded son he is now an adult but to see his smile after he has finish doing his choir is worth a million bucks. He is happy to help and feels that he is useful. His room is so tidy that it would teach lots of adults that can not pick up after themselves.
I totally and completely agree with small chores for small people. My two are 5 and 6 and help around the house and they gain great pride from it too!
They look forward to being big helpers and accomplishing otherwise ‘adult’ work themselves.
It has been great for self esteem as well.
I also liked the comment above from Mary who said her brother’s kids and being able to take her kids out in public. My sister in law has some of the same issues… although her kids are quite a bit older than mine. Can’t go into details… you never know who’s reading.
I will say, however, that it’s really nice to be able to take your kids out to eat in a nice restraunt and have another patron go out of their way to compliment them. They may not like doing chores, but they are very proud of their level of responsibility compared to their friends.
I believe it is irresponsible NOT to give your child daily chores. Growing up, we never had a set list of chores in our home. My mother would ask us every once in a while to do the most basic chores and ultimately would become frustrated and do it all herself. When we became adults, we struggled with simple daily tasks around the home and had to re-train ourselves to be better housekeepers.
My children all have daily chores and tasks. It is my responsibility as a parent to teach my children how to manage their daily lives and cleaning is part of an adult’s daily life.
You’re doing a wonderful job! Your children’s behavior is proof!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with giving children chores as long as it is in their capability to complete the chores. As a child, we earned our allowance from doing our chores. Having chores lets children have a sense of accomplishment–I did something to help. Contributing to the cleanliness of the home or the cooking of the dinner or to the welfare of the pet not only pleases the parents but gives the children a sense of helping the house run smoothly. They’re not just a bystander but an active participant in the family & home.
I agree with children having chores. I have 2 girls who are 4 and 2 and they both help out around the house. They are responsible for picking up their own toys, they also set the table, they help fold laundry, and they help to sweep the floors and dust the house. It’s also a great opportunity for learning. Teaching the children to sort clothes by color, or pick up all of the blue toys first, or count the number of forks as they put them on the table. It’s good quality time with your kids, the chores get done, and I think you’ll find that their behavior is better. I too get complimented on my children’s behavior when we are out in public.
It’s obvious that Chris and the people who have replied here have a great sense of responsibility to their children. That is why we all subscribe to this wonderful website..to spend time with and develop our children. Thanks Chris! Keep up the good work!
Boy oh boy… sometimes we learn the hard way. I was a young mom with 3 children. It was always easier and faster to do things on my own and I knew they would always be done the right way. I remember saying “what’s the point in having them do things if I have to just do it over again?” Well…. the point is very clear now. I am still picking and cleaning up after my 19yr old who still lives at home. He just doesn’t seem to know how to do things. My 2 daughters are very very messy and don’t seem to mind when I come over for a visit. I used to think that the example I set by having a clean house would carry over. WRONG!! I now have custody of my 3 Grandchildren, ages 4,3 and 8 months. I’m a single Grandma so I need all the help I can get. The oldest does more to help around the house than any of my children. He’s always eager to “help” me with everything to the point that I have to leave laundry until he is available to help. “You did that without me Grandma?” The 3 year old is following, watching and helping where he can. I get them to pick up their own toys, give them wipes for cleaning, feeding the dog, searching the house and collecting the lost sippy cups etc. They have a ball while doing it and it helps me out a lot. They don’t feel like it’s a “chore”, they feel like they are helping. Leaving these valuable lessons to teach until they are old enough to complain its a “chore” is way too late and I have done my children an incredible disservice by doing everything myself. 20/20 is hindsight and I won’t make that mistake again. Remember…. everything seems like fun to a small child.
I kiddingly curse my mother in law for that
.
I totoally agree fwith you. In fact my 4 and 6 year old have been doing most of the things you mentions, except folding the laundry and I never even thought of them as chores. We all live inthe house so we all take care of things. That is the message I want them to learn. They like to help and as you said we get to talk and feel good when the job is done.
Our rule in the house for both our 5 and 2 year old are “you take it out you put it away” and “put your clothes in the hamper when you get changed”along with many others. I never would have catagorized them as chores just things all kids should do. I can only think that maybe the parents who made negative comments about chores may not understand what kinds you are talking about. Many of the things you mentioned are just things (most) parents tell kids to do with out labeling them as chores.
I think your right for children to have chores. I have a 4yr. old boy who I have taught to help with laundry, bring in trash can, clean his room and sort clothes and he helps to make dinner and when he gets his allowance he puts it in his bank. I don’t want him to be like my x his mother did everything for him even get up early in the morning to get the paper and start their car when it was cold. Now he thinks that women should do everything pick up after 20 times aday where he sat is where he would leave 5-6 glasses orplates no matter how many times he went into that kitchen he would’t take them out and clothes lay where ever he lay them not my son he won’t be that why he does what boys do sports and play but he also helps around the house he isn’t going to be one of these guys who think women is mean to be thei slaves. So yes chores is good for everyone. Great for you.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I HAVE 3 CHILDREN ALL MARRIED NOW WITH CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN. THEY HAVE ALL THANKED US FOR MAKING THEM DO CHORES, BED MAKING, DUSTING, VACUUMING, DISHES, PET CARE, CLEANING THEIR ROOMS. THEY NOW HAVE PASSED THIS ON TO THEIR OWN CHILDREN, SAYING, WHEN I WAS YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE CHORES WE HAD. LOL.
I KNOW RUN A DAYCARE AND I GIVE MY DAYCARE CHILDREN CHORES TO DO TO, WHICH THEY LOVE. SETTING TABLE, PICKING UP ALL TOYS BEFORE LUNCN AND GOING HOME. I HAVE EVEN GIVEN THEM A WET CLOTH TO WIPE OFF FINGER PRINTS AND DIRTY MARKS ON THE WALLS THEY LOVE CLEANING.
I totally agree with you. I believe if we don’t teach our children that the chorse are ours to do , then we as parents are not teaching our children how to take on responblities. If we don’t teach them now they will never learn and they will expect everyone els to do it for them. The bible teaches us to teach our children the truth. It also so say a lazy person that don;t do work don’t get fed. There are jobs we all don’t like and if we teach our children early in life then when they get older they don’t have to learn the hard way, it will just be the way of life for them.
I agree with you
I am a nanny to 3 little children 4,3, and a 13 month old, these children love helping with chores we like to make a game of it sometimes and they have a chore chart and whren they do chores or help out they put stickers on the chart I think it’s really important to let the children have chores and it is buy far not cruel it’s important it makes them feel grown up and responsialbe so please people the one’s that think it’s not right let them feel grown up I know my children I nanny for really love having chores.
My children and I’m sure there are many others, enjoy having the responsibility of doing chores (I’m sure it will all change once they get older though!)
Finally, someone who understands how it work. I do not have children of my own. But since 2001 I’ve been working in elementary school daycares. And the more responsabilities I could give to my children, I did do so. Now a days some children think that they desrve to be served in school because that is how it works in their home. They have no sense of responsabilities and it reflects in lack of maturaty. I know that all the chores you’ve listed are great for giving and biliding self estime and a sense of being. ” I’m someone because I do this” Even us as adulte need to feel responsable for someting if we want to have a sense of knowing we’re worth it.
My little one is not even 3 and she enjoys helping me with jobs around the house. She will sweep the kitchen floor,empty the washing machine, tidy her toys, dust, clean the windows and even help prepare our meals as well as put the cutlery and napkins on the table. I believe she feels it gives her an opportunity to ‘help’ me by doing something ‘grown up’ and means I don’t have to push her away when all she would like is some interaction at the times when I really need to get some housework done. It may mean that things take longer, and I obviously have to go back and do some things again when she is not watching (windows in particular) but does that really matter when you get to spend time together, and it makes the jobs more fun for me too!
I have a three year old and she does chores around the house. I agree, it teaches children responsibility and helps build confidence. I also think it drives out laziness! In fact her teachers at school couldn’t believe how capable she is at doing things by herself - and she insists on doing alot of things by herself! Our latest addition to the family is a 4 month old baby and my life is a lot easier having such a capable 3 year old who loves helping with baby too.
I totally agree with small children doing chores. I have my children pick up their toys and bring their plates to the sink. When it’s time to duse they like to help me with that and they also like to help push the vacum. We too get a lot of complements about our children’s behavior and I believe it’s because we give them responsibility at home.
Keep Up the Good work!
Proverbs 13:11 . . :but he that gathereth by labor shall increase.
Chris, Yes , I too believe in chores for children, it gives them responsibility , that eventually they will have when they are older. It also makes them feel important . Yes, it does take longer for them to do, this is where adults patience comes into play.
We all have daily chores why shouldn’t children. Just remember to do the chores according to what your child can do. You will be proud of them too!!!
I’m a grandmother and look after different families of children I see a great different in the children that have chore to do every day to the ones that expect you to pick up after them. Attitudes and manners go hand in hand. Ask one child to pick up and I get you do it your here to look after us
My son tries to do anything i do whether i like it or not, so if he copies me while i do chores, i think it is a very good thing even if it slows me down. I let him put the clothes in the washing machine and put the liquid soap in. I let him dry any plastic utensils while i wash the rest of the plates. I cannot use a broom because he takes it away from me to do the floor himself. I have to give him another duster while i dust. You can say almost anything. Mum says that i was like him when i was his age but later i couldn’t care less about helping at home. Now household chores are really a pain for me because i would rather do cross stitch, play with computer or go out. Hope my son keeps helping me even when he grows up. And to mention that he is only 2 and a half years old and has been doing these things since last year.
Great Job! , Children who learn early to do small tasks, seem to respect the value of their belongs, and others as well. I think chores gives them a sense of belonging and accomplishment right in their own home.
I have two children 9 and 4, they are both required to do chores around the house. If it isn’t helping do dishes and laundry, or round the house chores then it is outside. Stacking firewood, pulling weeds and yard clean up…all a good way to build respsibility. They are learning that if they want to enjoy the things around the house then they too must participate in the upkeep. I want to know that if i am not around to do it for them….they are able to do it on their own.
I believe that children should have small responsibilities around the house. I feel this way mainly from the military, and another because I think that if I can instill the idea of helping around the house then it will help their future partners out alot. My boys are almost 3 and 5 years old, they both love to sweep and mop, so I got them a swiffer with mopping pads. They also like to wash dishes before they go to the dishwasher so I let them help with it. They are required to clean their rooms because I refuse to do it, that is their only real required responsibility out of everything that they do. I think that responsibilities for children are a necessity and will help them in other parts of their life where responsibility is a must. I applaud you for standing your ground on this. There are so many people now that have never had responsibility and continue to avoid it.
hello chris how are you!i’m a mother of two young boys very active they both love to play with their toys,and as rigth now that is the only household work they do.BUT i do agree that alots of stay home parents think that because they stay home they are suppose to do every little thing and is not true you stay home to teach your kids about responsability and how things have to be done is part of life and let me tell you being a stay home parent is not a easy job and every body has to help that is why we all are call a family or team everybody help one and another i get alots of bad bad coments like why do you make them pick up there toys if they are goin to play with them again but after all the are my kids and i teach them skills on how to be responsables thank you so much for this subject.
Would you like to know what happens when you don’t teach your child household chores? Well, let me tell you. When my husband and I got married, he didn’t know how to do laundry or dishes. He couldn’t mix mop water. He didn’t pick up after himself. The list goes on and on. He was never made to do any of that stuff while he was at home. These are LIFE SKILLS. It is crazy not to teach your child how to do chores.
My 2 and a half year old granddaughter has been doing chores for six months now. Nobody asked her to. She just started doing them, and can’t wait to set the table, sweep the floor, feed the dogs, and help to cook and do dishes. Seriously, it really was her idea. If you don’t allow her to do it, you get the usual 2-year-old reaction. We all know what that is: Bloody Murder.
YES YES YES Children should have chores from the age of 2 and on. It teaches them respect for things around them. Which this world has very little of now a days. The child learn by doing and helping. They learn from seeing it done as well as doing it. And they love praise as in when they do it. Just like potty training a child the smile on thier little face is priceless when they get it. Oh I guess we should not show them proper way of doing that, so they can think it is ok to potty like animals. Having chores at a young age just helps the child grow and develop value of things. Taking care of toys and putting things away where they belong. In daycares where children are from the age of 6 weeks to school age and after school care. Teaches them where things goes and how to be a friend and help each other. They pick up thier toys that they have been playing with and put them away. That is chores as well. I guess it comes down to is showing your child respect for things around them. That life does not owe them a living and they should work just like mom and dad to get things they want and to get ahead in this life. The young generation someday will run our country and if we don’t start teaching them respect and responisbilty from day one of their lives how can they be leaders? Mom and dad will not be around all thier lives to do everything for them SO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO DO CHORES. IT WILL HELP THEM AS THEY GROW THRU LIFE. TEACH THEM TO RESPECT THINGS AROUND THEM AND RESPONISBILTY. HAVE CHILDREN DO CHORES. YES
I just recalled something. As a form of positive reinforcement, teachers in elementary schools will usually take the most disruptive child and make him her “assistant.” He or She would help around the classroom–cleaning erasers, collecting papers, etc. This has been proven to improve the child’s behavior. Something about the fact he’s being trusted to do somethingvery important in the running of the classroom changes his mindset about behaving. He wants to do good and be good.
I still don’t understand how someone could be against chores for children.
If you’re hard on your kids then I must be a warden! LOL
My kids do all of these things and a bit more. I have five from the ages of 20 - 18 months and I run a daycare from home. Not only do my kids have there own chores but they also help with daycare chores as well. They are always happy to do it because they know my husband and I appreciate it and that they will be rewarded in some way.
I guess I am an even worse parent
I do agree with children having chores. My 9 year old does not have chores when she is at her grandparents, and my 3 year old (different dad) does have chores at her grandparents. Even though they both have chores at home, such as cleaning their rooms and picking up after themselves, there is a difference. My 3 year old is neater and tider than my 9 year old. It’s first hand what a child with simple chores and a child without simple chores turns out to be. I am trying very hard to help my 9 year old learn the value of neatness and organization, but it seems to never work. She always falls back into the same routine.
I agree that children should have chores, but that they should be geared for the child’s age. I think that you have done an incredible job and you shouldn’t take what the people who criticize you to heart. You know that what you are doing is right and in the long run your children will thank you for it because when they are grown they will know how to take care of themselves.
I have a niece who is 15 and a nephew who is 10 and you can’t get them to do a thing. They don’t take care of anything that they own and it generally ends up destroyed. They were never made to do any type of chores when they are younger so now you might as well forget getting them to do anything.
Chores are a very good thing for children. It teaches them independence . responsability and make them feel important and part of the family.
As a preschool teacher I let the children distribute napkins, cups,snacks and clean up after themselves, and of course pick up the toys. It works very well they actually enjoy it and are very proud to show that they can do it.
Kids are kids. They learn what the adults teach them. Train them well they grow up well. Spoil them, they’ll ruin your lives. I totally agree that kids should be trained to do chores. Not only it builds up character as well as responsibility and independence.
I have 3 kids at home and they have lots of family fun time doing chores right from the youngest who is now 2 years old. Being the youngest he knows he can’t do much but the little that he can do you’ll see a big GRIN on the face (a smile of satisfaction and accomplishment).
My second child has lots of initiative. She knows way before what needs to be done and she offers herself to help with all that mommy is doing in hope that when she helps, mommy will have more time to spend with her. (smart right? she’s turning 5 this June)
Kids like to behave like adults so why not provide them witha fun way of learning to be adults.
I think having children doing chores is a great thing. When kids are small they can be moulded to enjoy almost anything, and the thing that they enjoy most is doing what mom and dad are doing. Keeping the house clean, looking after ones things are things that almost everyone has to do when they are older so why not just grow up enjoying to do those things. Its also important for them to understand the effort that goes into things, like eating is actually made up of shopping, cutting, cooking, laying the table, eating, clearing and washing. How are they to ever come to value the effort unless we expose them to it. And the best part is that they actually love to do the rest of it, so there is absolutely no reason why we shouldn’t let them.
As a mother and a teacher for a behaviour program I too have to agree that children should have chores. My daughter has been doing them since she could walk and she has way more respect for her things and others. Children that don’t help out tend to get lazy and rely on everyone else. Even their school marks are effected by it. One thing i tell my students parents when they come in to the program is that they need to be given some responsibilty at home to help them learn.
I a a mother of a 3 year old and I think it is a great idea to give your child chores. Not only is it good for them to learn to be responsible, but mine seems to thoroughly enjoy it aswell! If I am wiping down a table, she wants to help. It’s not fair on kids, even when older, if they dont, as they may never learn to be responsible for themselves.
I am a mother of two and care provider of 4 additional children. I absolutely agree with children doing household chores. The thought that making them do chores is being too hard on them, just proves why in this day in age too many young people expect everything to be done for them and don’t learn to be responsible and appreciate what they have and what they are. Children learn basic appreciation and other important principles, such as decision making skills by helping with chores. I like the list that you gave. Chores don’t have to be a drag. I’ve learned to teach them to do chores as a game and even as a gift to Dad. They enjoy it and it helps me out. Hats off to all of you Moms that actually teach your children how to become resposible Adults! Your reward will be great in those well mannerd young Adults one day.
My husband, a teacher is learning something with his school called “love n logic” one of the things they said in the seminar is to not call the kids household responsibilities “chores”. Instead call them “contributions”. I like this notion because it highlights what the importance of having household tasks are really all about. I am a firm believer that children need responsibilities as early as you can give them. It teaches them that they are apart of something, and it can help instill pride especially in a young child. It also teaches them basic skills they will need in life. At some point all our children will grow up and will need to know how to do everyday things like cook and how to clean a house. Not all of them will be fortunate enough to hire a maid and a cook. It’s good for them to learn young and to build on what they can accomplish and contribute as they gain more skills
I am a Pre Kindergarten teacher and a mother of a 7, 6, and 2 yr old. I believe chores are a strong foundation to learning responsibility. Not only do I assign age appropriate chores to all three of my children but has classroom chores for my students. There are 7 different chores for the students to choses from, this does not include the children having to clean up there own toys after play time. The children love them and look forward to choosing what their job for the day will be. I have recieved plenty of positive feed back from the parents regarding this matter. Many of them stating that there child has started cleaning up there own mess at home and are more willing to help out with the cleaning at the house.
I thought the best response on here was by the person who “didn’t have kids”. BTW, not having kids doesn’t mean that their opinion should be discounted. I thought that was very disrespectful.
I don’t mind being the 2nd person who doesn’t believe children should have chores and I have 3 children. I also don’t use punishment or rewards and have 3 wonderful children.
People can’t fathom not giving children chores citing how they will become more responsible and giving anecdotal tales about how someone they know couldn’t do _____________(fill in the blank) because no chores were required when they were growing up.
Like most, I was given my list of chores and it didn’t make me responsible nor did I feel any sense of accomplishment. It’s not hard to “make” children do anything when you use threats and punishment. You may think you are teaching them responsibility but what you are really teaching them is I am bigger than you and will make you do what I want. Personally, I want my children to help me because they want to and not because I force them to by using punishments. All people, children or adults will be responsible when they VOLUNTARILY take on a responsibility….not one that is forced upon them.
For a different perspective see http://sandradodd.com/chore/intro
I am use to being in the minority and quite okay with that. I thought Christina’s response was well thought out and made much sense and I’m really sorry that it was dismissed because she didn’t have children. One of the most insightful individuals on children that I have ever come across and is now unfortunately deceased is John Holt. He was a former teacher and often took care of his sister’s children. He didn’t have any of his own but probably had more insight into children than most parents do about their own children or people have about children in general. I highly recommend any of his books.
Firstly, I’m sorry you felt that Christina’s comments were discounted or that I was disrespectful. That certainly wan’t my intention. Her comments on children taking responsibility for household chores were interesting from the perspective of an older child still living with her parents… I’m sure my nine year old doesn’t think kids should do chores either - she’d probabaly love it if I’d start making her bed and cleaning the cat box. But she wouldn’t learn to be responsible like that, would she?
Secondly, I take great offense to the idea that I “make” my children work at home by use of “threats and punishment.” Or that I’m teaching them that “I am bigger than you and will make you do what I want.” I’ve never mentioned anything about punishment within my article or in my comments… that isn’t what doing chores at our house is about.
I’m just curious how you go about getting your children to *voluntarily* take on a responsibility and teach them to think of others without giving them some expectations?
An adult’s life is full of expectations… how can you prepare children for adulthood without some expectations?
I totally agree that children should do chores at home. Their are so many reasons why..
1. It’s their mess
2. They need to learn team work
3.Respect
4.There sklls they need to have when they go out to the real world
I think it is so Important theydo their share it is only then they will apprecate what we do as parents forthem. also think parents who opt out of expecting their childen to do thei share are disabblng their chldren to progress as belive it’s all part of growing and developing .
I have two neices 11 and 7, neither have ever had to lift a finger in their life apart from tidying their room on occasions.
When they are asked to help out the throw tatrrums and cry. at evening times it takes 2 hrs to get them to finish their supper have a bath an get into bed, thsi requires both parents helping.
should a 7 & 11 yr old be able tro brush their teeth by now and wash?
maybe im being to harsh, but i fear this will have negitive effects later in life if everything is done for them now.
well small chores are fine i mean how hard is it to make your bed or spend 5 min putting toys away
But is it fair to give a 12 year old to wash dishes while her younger brother (11) throws out only the garbage.
well i feel that for a child to have some feeling of self worth and pride it is important to allow them to join you in doing everything around the house and in your business.why?if you dont allow a child to do anything and just sit around wacthing tv the whole day,the mind becomes dormant and will affect them at a later stage.an active mind is a healhty child.most importantly it will give them a feeling of responsibility and sum fun memories to share wiht thier families one day.would like your coments.
I definitely think kids need to be a part of the household and help with simple chores. Mine are dusting and vacuuming as I type this — they are 4 and 7. They actually enjoy anything that has to do with a squirt bottle — and feel very grown up in charge of the vacuum. If they don’t help, who is supposed to do it all — the mother? I work from home, and feel that it is part of being a family to pitch in with chores. I would never expect them to just want to do it without being asked — its not on their priority list and they just don’t notice when things need to be cleaned like grown-ups do. I would never over-do it — but helping a little and having responsibilities is part of life. Peace on your journey!
vacum trucks…
Sounds interesting but not for every one….
kids shouldn’t have to do household chors hthere children for god shake there children let them have freedom